Diet Induced Obesity

I wish I could go back to my 10-year old body, and convince that little girl that she really didn't need to lose weight... I wish I could stop her from going on that first diet... Because that diet turned into another, and another, and another... And with every pound I lost, I'd regain two... So, by the time I was in my early 20's, I had dieted my way up to 175 pounds...

This is what is called "diet induced obesity"... It's a trend observed in 95% of dieters, who end up weighing more than when they started their diet... If I had a dollar for everyone who has said, "If only I weighed what I did when I went on my first diet," I'd be a millionaire...

I did finally lose weight and keep it off, but only when I STOPPED DIETING and STARTED LIVING... Fad diets are a dime a dozen, but you'll pay a much higer price than that if you play the games dieters play... If you're serious about losing weight and overcoming obesity, start with this simple step: DON'T DIET!!!

Feeling Fat

"So, Dorie, how are you feeling today?"
This is what my therapist would always say.
In quite a bright and chipper tone, I might add.
"I feel FAT today," I would snarl to my therapist.
"FAT is NOT a FEELING," she would say.
"F--- you, FAT IS a FEELING," I wanted to yell.
Instead, I just started at the floor, seething away.
"What's behind the FAT feeling," she'd finally say.
"I just hate my body and I hate my life," I'd bemoan.
Then, I'd stare at the floor again, seething away.
"I sense some anger and frustration," she'd say.
"F--- these F'n FEELINGS," I wanted to blurt out.
Instead, I gave her the appeasing remark, "Yeah, I guess."
But then I looked her straight in the eyes.
I emphasized, "But really what I feel is that I FEEL FAT."
I added, staring at her, "FAT IS a FEELING!!!"
Suddenly, I began feeling great confidence...

There are different kinds of feelings. There are "emotional" feelings, like anger, frustration, or confidence. But there are also "somatic" feelings, like fat, tight, or hot. These somatic feelings have essential healing information, and need to be honored, because they can be a doorway to the emotional feelings. In retrospect, I can see that my therapist realized this, by her question, "what's behind the fat feeling?" However, she began the dialogue with the statement that "fat is NOT a feeling," which made me feel -- here we go, emotional feelings -- criticized, invalidated, wrong. Some of my core issues, right there, on the table. But I was able to challenge these by voicing my knowing that FAT IS a FEELING!

It's true. FAT IS a FEELING. It's also true that there are emotional feelings behind that somatic feeling. Can you honor and learn from BOTH??? Soooooooo... How are YOU FEELING today???

Weight Loss & Affirmations

What messages are you sending to the Universe about your weight problem? Do you look in the mirror and say, "I'm sooooo fat," like I did pretty much every day? Whatever you think or say, beginning with the words I AM, is an affirmation.

I am sooooooo fat!!!
I am never going to lose this weight!!!
I am a compulsive eater and I'll be this way forever!!!

What I didn't realize is, when I made statements like this, I was telling the Universe that I wanted MORE of these things. Whatever I affirmed, I got MORE of. MORE body fat. MORE weight plateaus. MORE compulsive eating.

Finally, I realized this wasn't what I REALLY wanted. I began to ACT AS IF what I wanted was already here, by thinking and saying new affirmations.

I am in the healthy body of my dreams!!!
I am easily and safely losing excess weight!!!
I am an intuitive eater and I'll be this way forever!!!

This might seem a bit like "magic." It's not. Affirmations are amazingly powerful. More so than any "magic pill."

So... what are YOUR affirmations?

Exercising Intuition

I recently returned from a trip to Winter Park, CO... I stayed in a 2BR cabin with my boyfriend... We cross-country skiied, cooked great meals together, went snow-shoeing, walked around the town, and went out for dinner...

At no time was I wondering, "How many calories am I burning?" or, "Did I work out long enough to be able to eat this?" or, the always popular, "Do I look FAT???"

I just wanted to share that update with you... Yes, it is possible to NOT obsess over food, weight, exercise, etc!!!

In the past, the exercise thing was always a big deal for me. I either did it to burn fat/calories, or I didn't do it at all, because I was rebelling against the prior regimen. I finally got to a point where I realized that I WANTED to "move my body"... I didn't like being sedentary... I wanted to be active... I like the word "activity," because it doesn't feel as disciplined as exercise...

So, consider what type of ACTIVITY you can enjoy... This is what exercising with intuition is all about... When you find activities that you truly ENJOY, you will look forward to doing these...

The last night when I was in Winter Park, there was a light snowfall... I was out there snow-shoeing in the wilderness with my boyfriend... We caught those big, puffy snowflakes on our tongues... We were both in awe of our surroundings, and truly enjoyed the experience of "activity"...

This is what "exercise" is all about... What activity can you TRULY ENJOY???

Overcoming Obesity: Step 1

I used to hate my "cellulite-laden thunder-thighs." But the more I hated my body, the more I ate. The more I ate, the more weight I gained. The more weight I gained, the more I hated my body. You get the cycle...

Then, I had a "wake-up call," which helped me begin to love my body. Yes, Step 1 to overcoming obesity is to love yourself, exactly as you are. When you love yourself, you take better care of yourself. I can't emphasize enough how important this step is!!! Here is the story of my "wake-up call," excerpted from How Much Does Your Soul Weigh? (Harper Collins, 2003) pp. 116-117:

"A turning point for me was an experience I had while walking down the street one day. I happened to catch a glimpse of myself in a storefront window. The vision I saw was of a huge, misshapen person with over-sized hips and thighs. “Ugh!” I thought, “I am disgusting!” The negative self-talk continued, and I became focused on my “cellulite-laden thunder thighs.” Thoughts like, “I’ll never beat this,” and “I’m just going to be fat forever” swirled in my mind. The more I thought in this way, the worse I felt. I couldn’t even look people in the face as I passed them on the sidewalk. Feeling totally hopeless, I planned to stop by the candy store down the street to get a big bag of chocolate to drown my feelings in food.

Staring at the ground as I shuffled along in my depressed state, my downward spiral was interrupted as a voice ahead of me said a loud “Hello!” I looked up to see a man with a big smile on his face. He was in a wheelchair, and I noticed that he had no legs. “Have a great day!” he continued, as he passed me. I stopped dead in my tracks. A wave of emotion came over me, as if I had been plodding along in the desert and was suddenly engulfed by a large flood. Suddenly, the size of my “thunder thighs” no longer mattered. How my legs looked was not important. I looked up to the sky and said, “Thank you, God; I have legs.” I walked past the candy store and continued home. As I walked, I noticed how it felt to move my legs. I paid attention to my unique stride. I was able to affirm for the first time many positives that my legs gave me. My eyes teared up as the flood of emotions washed through me. I felt incredible sadness as I thought of the years I had spent putting myself down, minimizing the gifts that I did have, unable to appreciate my inherent value. I also felt great relief, because I was finally able to feel good about my body. Then, I froze. Suddenly I realized that I was feeling good about my body, yet I hadn’t lost a pound."

And, from this place of self-acceptance, I had no interest in overeating... This is Step 1 to overcoming obesity!!!

The Disorder of Eating Disorders

OK... This entry is a bit graphic... Just want to prepare you to step into the shoes of a bulimic... Well, at least, my experience as a bulimic... This is also an excerpt from my latest book, How Much Does Your Soul Weigh? (HarperCollins, 2003), p. 43:

"A half-eaten carton of ice cream, the leftover crusts from an entire deep-dish pizza, an empty box of pop-tarts, a portion of a two-liter bottle of diet soda, a few cookies, and crumbs all over the coffee table, couch and floor. This is all that remains as I continue with my hour-long binge and purge ritual. It’s a familiar routine. I eat so much that I can barely walk to the kitchen, where I lean over the sink and put my right index finger down my throat, forcing myself to throw up just enough food so that I can go back and eat more. “What are ya doin’?” asks Peppy, my parakeet, as I shove more cookies and ice cream in my mouth. “Shut up,” I scream back at him. Until finally, I can’t stand the thought of stuffing anything else down. Now, it’s time to vomit until I get everything out. Get rid of it all. I drink more diet soda to make the vomiting easier. I throw up as much as I can, praying that my esophagus doesn’t rupture in the process..."

Yeah, that was my life. Pretty much every day. Often more than once a day. Many people think that bulimia is "the answer," because you can eat all you want and stay thin. Have your cake and eat it too, then puke it up and stay thin too. Well, I never found that to be true. Here's why. Research shows that a bulimic's body still absorbs about 80% of the calories consumed during a binge. Sooooooo... If you want to have your cake and eat it too, then just have your cake and eat it too...

Trusting Intuition for Weight Loss

Hi. I'm back. It's been a while since my last entry ... I have been busy going through my old journals to find some good reflections to share with you about my struggles and successes in overcoming obesity and eating disorders. Stay tuned for this content, coming very soon! Meanwhile, I thought you might appreciate a poem I wrote about trusting intuition. That can be a hard thing to do, when you're so used to looking outside yourself to diets to tell you what to eat. But your answers are within. This poem is excerpted from my first book, Dr. Dorie's "Don't Diet" Book (Positive Pathways Press, 1988), p. 45:

I have memories as a child of going on trust walks
Blindfolded, I was led by the hand
The leader served as my eyes for I could not see
I was guided across the land

I had to place my faith and trust in my leader
If I was to move at all
By letting go of her hand and going on my own
I would just stumble and fall

There are times when we all need guidance.
We're on a trust walk again,
But now the leader is not outside of us
Our guide is within

Although the way may not seem clear at times
Know that the direction is true
If you trust in yourself you will see
Your path is there in front of you